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Category: Funny DartMUD Logs

These are funny logs from DartMUD

Violent Creators!

Violent Creators!

You shout in common, ‘Any non-violent creator-types about?

[Dragon suddenly exists, no warning]

Dragon turns and glares at you.

[thinks: Oh… sh*t.]

Desla begins to incant a spell.
Desla charred Dragon’s body to a crisp with his octarine fire bolt!
Dragon’s body is destroyed!
Dragon died!
Danor eeks! EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
Desla says, ‘Sorry, no non-violent creator types available
Desla waves.

Dumb Luck

Dumb Luck

Tried to grab something from an unconscious Katsumi, not realizing that pets see a grab as an aggressive move

Fenix attacks you!
You begin to cast the spell.
Syryn attacks you!
Your concentration is disrupted and the spell is lost.
You begin to cast the spell.
Your concentration is disrupted and the spell is lost.
You ponder the situation.

north
Your hooded robe is destroyed.
Syryn hit your head with destructive force with her horseshoe!
Your head has been disabled.
You fall unconscious!
You’re unconscious! You can’t do that!

You regain consciousness!
Nisril lays his hands on your head and it feels better. It is now very bad off.
Katsumi says in common, ‘From what I heard you ran as she attacked
Danor boggles at the concept.
Kelvandor nods.
Katsumi says in common, ‘And you made it here as she hit yer head
Kelvandor says in common, ‘Lucky bastard.

Kythalus

Kythalus

Urthan says in common, ‘Danor be careful
You peer at Urthan quizzically.
Urthan says in common, ‘There old time mage around with huge gfb
You gasp.
You ask in magic, ‘Daring?
You listen to Urthan.
Urthan shakes his head.
You gasp.
Urthan says in common, ‘Kythalus
You ask in magic, ‘Who?
You peer at Urthan quizzically.
You ponder the situation.
Urthan says in common, ‘Bishop’s old master
You blink.
You say in magic, ‘Damn that IS old
Kelvandor nods.
Kelvandor asks in common, ‘Why be careful?
Urthan asks in common, ‘No be idiot he towards, okay?
You nod slowly.
Kelvandor grins.
You shout in magic, ‘Hi Kythalus!
Kelvandor snickers.
You grin.
Urthan rolls his eyes.
Alhia shakes her head.

Daisy, Daisy

Daisy, Daisy

Talmund asks in common, ‘Want to help me?
Talmund asks in common, ‘Please?
Talmund thinks.
You listen to Talmund.
Talmund asks in common, ‘Will you ro me so i can get a bunch of ore from the bins on my balcony?
Talmund says in common, ‘I’m too much of a pansy to lift many
You think.
You nod.
Talmund thanks you.
You say in common, ‘Pansy.

Pets listen too well…

Pets listen too well…

You say in common, ‘Bacardi (enter hatch)
You grin.
Katsumi gasps.
Bacardi dooks happily.
Bacardi opens a hidden hatch in the floor and crawls in!
Dakani pokes you in the ribs.
You blink.
You blink.
Katsumi screams.
You hear a muffled scream from somewhere far below.
You say in common, ‘Omfg

Katsumi screams.
Soft grins.
Katsumi slaps you!
Gie cackles.
Katsumi exclaims in common, ‘Get her out!
Gie cackles.
Gie cackles.
Gie says in common, ‘Just get a mark and go down there
You shout in common, ‘Uh
Urthan says in common, ‘Or shout come here command
Katsumi says in common, ‘Wont work
Katsumi says in common, ‘She’s in the underdark
Urthan says in common, ‘Uhh
Gie exclaims in common, ‘Lets go get her!
Legion laughs.
Katsumi cheers.
Urthan says in common, ‘Danor go fetch
Urthan nods.
You think.
Katsumi tries to push you down the hatch.
You shout in common, ‘Bacardi (come here)
Urthan says in common, ‘Before sandwich become demoness
You ponder the situation.
You cheer demonferret.

You squeeze into the hatch and slide down a chute!

It is pitch black.

You take bacardi the ferret (lying on the floor) and put it in your pack.
Katsumi falls into the room from a hidden chute!
Katsumi pats Hamster on the head.
Katsumi cheers.
Katsumi says in common, Gie’s getting recall stuff
You charred Hamster’s left foreleg to a crisp with your green fire bolt.
Hamster’s left foreleg is destroyed!
Hamster died!

Katsumi says in common, ‘Gie’s gonna bring us some marks
Katsumi says in common, ‘And I have a recall scroll
Katsumi says in common, ‘Just came down to make sure the room was safe for him
You say in common, ‘Oh ok
Katsumi asks in common, ‘Can you sz gie?
Katsumi says in common, ‘Tell him kat says the rooms clear of any threats, ie ‘hamsters’
Katsumi laughs.

Good thing…

Good thing…

Boriat says in common, ‘As far as I know, no one actually follows my current branch
Jask puts a small metal vial with some pink draaf in it on a rosewood table.
You nod to Boriat.
Jask sighs in relief.

Alhia asks in common, ‘What are you guys talking about?
Sicarius looks for something to steal.
Alhia asks in common, ‘Are you in the mg now, Bor?
You say (OOC), ‘Boriat says in common, ‘As far as I know, no one actually follows my current branch’
You say (OOC), ‘Jask sighs in relief.
Boriat says in common, ‘Apparently
(OOC) Danor snickers.
(OOC) Jask laughs.
Miroku appears.
Alhia says in common, ‘Ohh
Jask hugs Miroku.
Alhia says in common, ‘I see
Miroku hugs Jask.
Miroku wears an open somewhat small leather backpack.
Alhia asks in common, ‘Which branch?
Boriat says in common, ‘Air
Alhia asks in common, ‘Hm…what’s that supposed to mean?
Boriat says in common, ‘I’ll let you guess
You say in common, ‘Well, if boriat’s the leader.. i guess that makes him an Air.. Head
You snicker.
Alhia snickers.
Boriat pats you on the head.
You peer at the sky.
Hum de dum de dum!

Monkey business

Monkey business

You are in the woods. There is a towering cliff to the southwest. Well-worn paths cut through the trees here. It is bright here.
a monkey.

You stare at Monkey.
You say in common, ‘Aw, heck
You spank Monkey.

That’s quite the meat you have there…

That’s quite the meat you have there…

Sammy scurries toward you from the west.
Sammy curtseys.
You grunt.
Sammy grins.

show steaks to sammy
You show 100 rhinoceros meat steaks to Sammy.
Hum de dum de dum!
Sammy says in common, ‘That’s quite the load of meat
You shake your head.

show steaks 2 to sammy
You show 200 rhinoceros meat steaks to Sammy.
You say in common, ‘THAT’s quite a load of meat
Hum de dum de dum!
Sammy laughs.

Lexiss crashes in from the west.
Syryn canters toward you from the west.
Katsumi pads in from the west.
Katsumi licks you.
Katsumi leads you north.

[Being led away…]

You say in common, ‘Yay for sammy
Katsumi says in common, ‘Oh
You drop 100 rhinoceros meat steaks.
You drop sicarius the ferret.
Katsumi asks in common, ‘Were you talking to her?
You drop caedes the ferret.
You take 100 rhinoceros meat steaks from the floor.
You say in common, ‘Was showing her my meat
Katsumi says in common, ‘Ah
You nod sagely.
Katsumi says in common, ‘Sorry

Katsumi says in common, ‘Wait
Katsumi rolls her eyes.
You snicker.
Katsumi smacks you upside the head.

Ogre Logic

Ogre Logic

Quick backgrounder:
Amalendu suggested Danor reinc into an ogre.
Danor asked, “Why?”

Amalendu says in magic, ‘You grunt like an ogre
You say, ‘but i also dook like a ferret.
Amalendu says in magic, ‘…in heat
Urthan imagines Blossom on a hot day.

You say, ‘and hell if I want to be as dumb as raziel
You say, ‘but then again, i’m already the guild crafting bitch
Amalendu exclaims in magic, ‘Woah, I never accused you of that!
Amalendu says in magic, ‘The Raziel part at least
Urthan asks in common, ‘Raziel dumb?
Urthan asks in common, ‘Uhh?
Amalendu asks in magic, ‘Who said Raziel was dumb?
Urthan says in common, ‘Ammy
You hum.
You say, ‘did not!
Amalendu says in magic, ‘I must have missed it. I thought the ammy said he wasn’t as dumb as Raziel
Amalendu says in magic, ‘Which is not the same as saying Raz is dumb
You say, ‘hey!
Urthan says in common, ‘That why me asking
Urthan says in common, ‘No heard he lack smarts
You say, ‘If I didn’t know better, I’d think Ama was calling me dumb too.

Scary thing is, Half of the world is below average

Scary thing is, Half of the world is below average

Boriat asks in magic, ‘How well do you speak common, Pilo?
Pilo says in common, ‘Me average is
Boriat says in magic, ‘You don’t sound that way
Pilo asks in common, ‘Why askes?
Pilo says in common, ‘Me know how talk some just me no so smart
You say in common, ‘You remind me of a guy by the name of Raziel
Pilo says in common, ‘Me met him
Boriat says in magic, ‘Apparently, since you sound as smart as a stupid ogre
Pilo says in common, ‘Is diffrent cause me stupid he be dumb
Danor teaches Pilo the finer points of posessive pronouns.