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Category: Funny Logs

Funny logs of one type or another.

Monkey business

Monkey business

You are in the woods. There is a towering cliff to the southwest. Well-worn paths cut through the trees here. It is bright here.
a monkey.

You stare at Monkey.
You say in common, ‘Aw, heck
You spank Monkey.

That’s quite the meat you have there…

That’s quite the meat you have there…

Sammy scurries toward you from the west.
Sammy curtseys.
You grunt.
Sammy grins.

show steaks to sammy
You show 100 rhinoceros meat steaks to Sammy.
Hum de dum de dum!
Sammy says in common, ‘That’s quite the load of meat
You shake your head.

show steaks 2 to sammy
You show 200 rhinoceros meat steaks to Sammy.
You say in common, ‘THAT’s quite a load of meat
Hum de dum de dum!
Sammy laughs.

Lexiss crashes in from the west.
Syryn canters toward you from the west.
Katsumi pads in from the west.
Katsumi licks you.
Katsumi leads you north.

[Being led away…]

You say in common, ‘Yay for sammy
Katsumi says in common, ‘Oh
You drop 100 rhinoceros meat steaks.
You drop sicarius the ferret.
Katsumi asks in common, ‘Were you talking to her?
You drop caedes the ferret.
You take 100 rhinoceros meat steaks from the floor.
You say in common, ‘Was showing her my meat
Katsumi says in common, ‘Ah
You nod sagely.
Katsumi says in common, ‘Sorry

Katsumi says in common, ‘Wait
Katsumi rolls her eyes.
You snicker.
Katsumi smacks you upside the head.

Ogre Logic

Ogre Logic

Quick backgrounder:
Amalendu suggested Danor reinc into an ogre.
Danor asked, “Why?”

Amalendu says in magic, ‘You grunt like an ogre
You say, ‘but i also dook like a ferret.
Amalendu says in magic, ‘…in heat
Urthan imagines Blossom on a hot day.

You say, ‘and hell if I want to be as dumb as raziel
You say, ‘but then again, i’m already the guild crafting bitch
Amalendu exclaims in magic, ‘Woah, I never accused you of that!
Amalendu says in magic, ‘The Raziel part at least
Urthan asks in common, ‘Raziel dumb?
Urthan asks in common, ‘Uhh?
Amalendu asks in magic, ‘Who said Raziel was dumb?
Urthan says in common, ‘Ammy
You hum.
You say, ‘did not!
Amalendu says in magic, ‘I must have missed it. I thought the ammy said he wasn’t as dumb as Raziel
Amalendu says in magic, ‘Which is not the same as saying Raz is dumb
You say, ‘hey!
Urthan says in common, ‘That why me asking
Urthan says in common, ‘No heard he lack smarts
You say, ‘If I didn’t know better, I’d think Ama was calling me dumb too.

Scary thing is, Half of the world is below average

Scary thing is, Half of the world is below average

Boriat asks in magic, ‘How well do you speak common, Pilo?
Pilo says in common, ‘Me average is
Boriat says in magic, ‘You don’t sound that way
Pilo asks in common, ‘Why askes?
Pilo says in common, ‘Me know how talk some just me no so smart
You say in common, ‘You remind me of a guy by the name of Raziel
Pilo says in common, ‘Me met him
Boriat says in magic, ‘Apparently, since you sound as smart as a stupid ogre
Pilo says in common, ‘Is diffrent cause me stupid he be dumb
Danor teaches Pilo the finer points of posessive pronouns.

Wootz

Wootz

Ogma shows an ingot of watered steel to you.
A bar of high carbon steel with a pattern of fine, wavy lines on the surface producing an appearance similar to watered silk.
Ogma shows an ingot of watered steel to Jask.
Jask says in common, ‘Pretty
Ogma says, ‘It’s wootz.

You ask in common, ‘Woot?
Jask says in common, ‘Wootz
Jask giggles.
You dance woot.
Jask exclaims in common, ‘Whoop!
Jask pushes you. Whoof!
You exclaim in common, ‘Whoof!

You whisper, ‘Ogma has wootz.‘ to Katsumi in common.
Ogma pulls a clue-by-four from an extradimensional pocket.
Ogma whacks you upside the head with a clue-by-four!
* You think your enlightenment skill has improved. *
You’re too dazed and confused to stay upright!
You fall unconscious!

You shout in common, ‘Wootz!
You are suddenly struck by lightning!
Uh-oh, it’s nappy time.
You’re too dazed and confused to stay upright!
You fall unconscious!

Wonky Tonk

Wonky Tonk

[announcement] Desla : monthly reboot, before things get wonky. Back up immediately afterwards
Maus stops guarding Buju.
Buju bats idly at his tail.
Silkenlor says in common, ‘Wonky
Silkenlor shouts in common, ‘Wonky!
Maus says in common, ‘“wonky”. That’s cute.
Euros asks in common, ‘Who says that these days?
Osolo shouts in common, ‘Tonky
!Game driver shouts: Game is shutting down in 10 minutes.
Silkenlor says in common, ‘Desla
Silkenlor laughs.
Euros sits on a cushion.
You snicker.
Danor goes, “Duh?”
Euros says in common, ‘I guess so.
Maus grins at you.
You shout in common, ‘Just a wonky tonk girl?
Silkenlor says in common, ‘Its a funny word
Euros slaps you across the face!
Silkenlor asks in common, ‘Honky tonk girl?
You nod to Silkenlor.
You say in common, ‘Wonky tonk
Silkenlor rolls his eyes.
Silkenlor says in common, ‘Ill wonky tonk your arse if you dont shut up
Maus says in common, ‘Leave arse tonking for a private room, please

Numb

Numb

Crystal Tower
This is the most incredible piece of architecture you have ever seen. The entire tower is composed of some sort of clear crystal that reflects both light and images strangely. The tower is empty with the exception of a large crystal ball, which rests upon four golden spires. There is a feeling of power radiating from the sphere. It is blindingly bright here.
There is one obvious exit: northwest.
Katsumi the catfolk.

scry ogma
You fail.
You’re too dazed and confused to stay upright!
You fall unconscious!
You regain consciousness!
Hum de dum de dum!

Ogma silently steps out of a shadow.
You say in common, ‘Oi
Katsumi asks in common, ‘What happened?
Ogma takes a silver wand from a pocket.
Ogma touches a stud on his wand and lightning begins arcing around its tip.
You point.
You gag.
Ogma touches you gently with a silver wand (arcing).
You feel all thought leave your mind, leaving you disoriented and confused.
You’re too dazed and confused to stay upright!
You fall unconscious!

You regain consciousness!
Ogma lays his hands on you, and you feel refreshed.
Your concentration is shot to hell.
Katsumi says in common, ‘Wow..
Ogma says, ‘You can’t scry me, numbnutz

Go B0x0rs!

Go B0x0rs!

Private Sub Shadyman(More Cowbell): Damn! That Pioneer system r0x0rs my b0x0rs.
Chevy Booster: I don’t wanna know what happens to your ‘b0x0rs’ at any given moment

Big Shoes

Big Shoes

[11:14:20 PM] tigersguy58: you’re f*cking idiot!
[11:14:20 PM] steveslackr: Don’t call me an idiot!
[11:14:30 PM] tigersguy58: if the shoe fits wear it
[11:14:32 PM] steveslackr: I think that you fill a big pair of shoes.