The more you pull the pork, the better it gets.
An actual in-game message:
Subject: BlogShares – Hostile Takeover of Liberation
I’ve got a plan so cunning, you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel!
The amount of noise which anyone can bear undisturbed stands in inverse proportion to his mental capacity.
Flagg: Let me tell you something. I have a complete record on you. I know every move you make, everything there is to know about you, so watch your step, Hunnicut
Hawkeye: I’m Pierce!
Flagg: Fine. You want to call yourself Pierce, I can play that game too.
Don’t play dumb! You’re not as good at it as I am!
You’re a tribute to man’s endurance. A monument to hope in size twelve pumps. I hope you do get out soon. There’ll be a battalion of men in hoop skirts right behind you.
Flagg: I’ve trained myself not to laugh or smile.
Flagg: Watched a hundred hours of The Three Stooges. Every time I felt like smiling, I jabbed myself in the stomach with a cattle prod.
B.J.: Some guys’d shoot themselves in the foot to get sent home.
Klinger: Not me! I’d ruin a perfectly good pair of nylons!
First he’s going, then he’s staying! Why’s he staying? Because I’m an idiot!
Why don’t we make everybody happy, let the hero stay, make the idiot go home!