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The amount of noise which anyone can bear undisturbed stands in inverse proportion to his mental capacity.

M*A*S*H Quotes

M*A*S*H Quotes

Flagg: Let me tell you something. I have a complete record on you. I know every move you make, everything there is to know about you, so watch your step, Hunnicut
Hawkeye: I’m Pierce!
Flagg: Fine. You want to call yourself Pierce, I can play that game too.

M*A*S*H Quotes

M*A*S*H Quotes

You’re a tribute to man’s endurance. A monument to hope in size twelve pumps. I hope you do get out soon. There’ll be a battalion of men in hoop skirts right behind you.

M*A*S*H Quotes

M*A*S*H Quotes

Flagg: I’ve trained myself not to laugh or smile.
Potter: Really
Flagg: Watched a hundred hours of The Three Stooges. Every time I felt like smiling, I jabbed myself in the stomach with a cattle prod.

M*A*S*H Quotes

M*A*S*H Quotes

Flagg: I’ve got to nip this rotten apple in the bud! This sort of action’s contageous. One man decides he’s not gonna fight, it catches on, the next thing, you know what you’ve got on your hands?
B.J.: Peace?

M*A*S*H Quotes

M*A*S*H Quotes

Hawkeye, as Charles drinks from his bottle of hair tonic: Charles, you’re drinking your hair!
Charles: Don’t be ridiculous. This is twelve-year-old Scotch. You don’t think I’d leave this is in the original bottle around you petty larcenists, do you?
Hawkeye, horrified: Uuuuuh! I’ve been drinking from his Scotch bottle!!!