The more you pull the pork, the better it gets.
An actual in-game message:
Subject: BlogShares – Hostile Takeover of Liberation
I’ve got a plan so cunning, you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel!
The amount of noise which anyone can bear undisturbed stands in inverse proportion to his mental capacity.
Flagg: I’ve trained myself not to laugh or smile.
Flagg: Watched a hundred hours of The Three Stooges. Every time I felt like smiling, I jabbed myself in the stomach with a cattle prod.
Flagg: Let me tell you something. I have a complete record on you. I know every move you make, everything there is to know about you, so watch your step, Hunnicut
Hawkeye: I’m Pierce!
Flagg: Fine. You want to call yourself Pierce, I can play that game too.
Don’t play dumb! You’re not as good at it as I am!
You’re a tribute to man’s endurance. A monument to hope in size twelve pumps. I hope you do get out soon. There’ll be a battalion of men in hoop skirts right behind you.
Trapper: Klinger, how can you wear just a skirt on a cold day like this?
Klinger: You think it’s easy being a nut?
Frank: Klinger! I want to see you out of that dress!
Klinger: Never on a first date, sir!