The more you pull the pork, the better it gets.
An actual in-game message:
Subject: BlogShares – Hostile Takeover of Liberation
I’ve got a plan so cunning, you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel!
The amount of noise which anyone can bear undisturbed stands in inverse proportion to his mental capacity.
Flagg: I’ve trained myself not to laugh or smile.
Flagg: Watched a hundred hours of The Three Stooges. Every time I felt like smiling, I jabbed myself in the stomach with a cattle prod.
Flagg: Let me tell you something. I have a complete record on you. I know every move you make, everything there is to know about you, so watch your step, Hunnicut
Hawkeye: I’m Pierce!
Flagg: Fine. You want to call yourself Pierce, I can play that game too.
Don’t play dumb! You’re not as good at it as I am!
You’re a tribute to man’s endurance. A monument to hope in size twelve pumps. I hope you do get out soon. There’ll be a battalion of men in hoop skirts right behind you.
Hawkeye, as Charles drinks from his bottle of hair tonic: Charles, you’re drinking your hair!
Charles: Don’t be ridiculous. This is twelve-year-old Scotch. You don’t think I’d leave this is in the original bottle around you petty larcenists, do you?
Hawkeye, horrified: Uuuuuh! I’ve been drinking from his Scotch bottle!!!
Patient, seeing Klinger: Doc, how come my nurse needs a shave?