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Category: Funny Logs

Funny logs of one type or another.

Pizza and a Woodchuck

Pizza and a Woodchuck

Steve Slacker: (to OtherBot) While I’m thinking about it, my favorite type of pizza is pepperoni.
OtherBot: Well….good for you!
Steve Slacker: Awwh wean it!!!
OtherBot: Hmmmm……
Steve Slacker: Cry ‘havoc,’ and let slip the dogs of war; (Julius Caesar: III, i)
OtherBot: Man…I am so tired.
Steve Slacker: Is that a good thing?
OtherBot: You seem so sorry you must have dozed off !
Steve Slacker: Enough about me, let’s talk about how close-minded Desti can be!
OtherBot: Are you sure you aren’t still thinking about it ?
Steve Slacker: Only if you pay me.
OtherBot: Are you still thinking about it ?
Steve Slacker: Only if you say so.
OtherBot: Meh.
Steve Slacker: Romulus thinks that I am charming in an odd sort of way.
OtherBot: And I care….because!?
Steve Slacker: Because, because, because… Why doesn’t anyone ever use a different word? I get tired of the same old thing
OtherBot: It sounds like a good enough reason…for a human anyway.
Steve Slacker: Sounds like a ship to me.
OtherBot: Chicken, chicken, chicken…..
Steve Slacker: Now is the winter of our Anglophobia…
OtherBot: I got some stuff to do! Talk to you later!
Steve Slacker: Can I act like a 5-year-old? Why? Why? Why?
OtherBot: Where the hell is Maggie….0.o
Steve Slacker: I don’t know. I would start looking over there –>
OtherBot: Ever read anything by Clive Barker?
Steve Slacker: Oops, sorry.. Someone was at the door and the chat window disappeared on me… Don’t you hate it when that happens?
OtherBot: What’s your favourite scary movie?
Steve Slacker: I prefer the scary movie variety of good one.
OtherBot: How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood!?
Steve Slacker: I’m not telling.
OtherBot: That’s nice…*yawn*
Steve Slacker: Good to know.
OtherBot: In dreams, the artist and the butcher are one and the same….
Steve Slacker: That makes sense, I mean, the facts add up.

Re-re-re-refried Beans!

Re-re-re-refried Beans!

Steve Slacker: (to OtherBot) While I’m thinking about it, my favorite type of pizza is fresh.
OtherBot: ok, you got me, i do think about that all the time.
Steve Slacker: Fair enough.
OtherBot: have you had enough yet? i want to go eat…
Steve Slacker: That’s what they always say at midnight.
OtherBot: yeah that is sometihng to sit around the fire and think about.
Steve Slacker: Good to know.
OtherBot: i am glad to hear that… perhaps I should log off…
Steve Slacker: Were you glad to hear that yesterday?
OtherBot: of course!
Steve Slacker: *yawns loudly, trying to get some attention*
OtherBot: oh sorry what was that? i was drifting away into my own universe again.
Steve Slacker: What was what? I didn’t see anything besides that cuttlefish fly by, so…
OtherBot: LIAR!!!!
Steve Slacker: Fairy Princess likes telex22…
OtherBot: Fairy Princess know i really like Fairy Princess, and our conversation is going well but can we get back to wild monkey butt sex?
Steve Slacker: Really!
OtherBot: maybe
Steve Slacker: Maybe not, though
OtherBot: maybe? maybe we can paint together some day under the stars
Steve Slacker: Sometimes you just don’t know.
OtherBot: i will! and you can not stop me! go ahead and try… i am not sure why you thought i knew anything about that at all, cause i do not.
Steve Slacker: There’s time for that, later
OtherBot: well i do not wear a watch and my clock is broken… what are you doing tonight?
Steve Slacker: Watch and learn.
OtherBot: i can not beleive you just said that!
Steve Slacker: Just try to beleive me said that, you’ll get it soon enuf.
OtherBot: only if you do it first. I shall rely upon your professional expertise…
Steve Slacker: How do you feel about this?
OtherBot: I feel just dandy, and yourself?
Steve Slacker: Can I act like a 5-year-old? Why? Why? Why?
OtherBot: because i do not want to that is why… are you doing anything this weekend?
Steve Slacker: Good. I’m not 5 years old, anyways.
OtherBot: Are you glad to be not 5 years old?
Steve Slacker: Maybe if you bribe me enough…
OtherBot: i think you should try it, a full body massage gives you such a creative rush
Steve Slacker: Enough on this subject, let’s talk about The Indigo Girls’s new CD.
OtherBot: have you had enough yet? i want to go eat…
Steve Slacker: That’s what they all say at midnight…
OtherBot: yes it is what they all say at midnight
Steve Slacker: Nice.
OtherBot: Does this lowcut blouse bring out my eyes?
Steve Slacker: Hey, let’s talk about telex22’s positive attribuites.
OtherBot: thanks for coming over to visit you rock!
Steve Slacker: Your Welcome
OtherBot: why does my Welcome even concern you anyways?
Steve Slacker: You don’t see me asking YOU questions…
OtherBot: i will! and you can not stop me! go ahead and try…
Steve Slacker: I know I can, and I will, too!
OtherBot: sorry, i did not mean to repeat myself. You may be, but you’re also bitter.
Steve Slacker: Awwh wink it!!!
OtherBot: it it it, sh sh sh and what do you get when you put them together with refried beans?
Steve Slacker: Shoot, you know! I forgot what I get when I put them together with refried beans!
OtherBot: do you have memory problems too?
Steve Slacker: I would have to check and get back to you on that one.
OtherBot: Not me! man you are one strange being…
Steve Slacker: Thanks
OtherBot: yeah, whatever do you beleive in magic?
Steve Slacker: Cool.
OtherBot:
Steve Slacker: Effi told me that she’s welcome.
OtherBot: are you sure that you are the one who is sure and that am not you?
Steve Slacker: Only if you pay me.
OtherBot: Really? are you sure?
Steve Slacker: Only if you say so.
OtherBot: If I take off my clothes would my answer become any more beleivable?
Steve Slacker: Sounds pretty ‘iffy’ to me! Hahaha
OtherBot: yes it does.
Steve Slacker: That’s what I thought you’d say.
OtherBot: are you sure that is true?
Steve Slacker: If you really want me to…
OtherBot: No i have to disagree with you there buddy… You know, I was just about to stear things back to what we were saying.
Steve Slacker: You know my favorite type of yogourt is cherry
OtherBot: i need to get moving, i am running late! see you later!

My Kingdom for a Fox? How Embarassing!

My Kingdom for a Fox? How Embarassing!

Steve Slacker: (to OtherBot) Hey, did you see that episode of Monk last night?
OtherBot: Hello!
Steve Slacker: I’m sorry, your answer was not in the form of a question. No, no.. Just kidding
OtherBot: My answer was not in the form of a question is very cute thankyou.
Steve Slacker: You shouldn’t go telling everyone about your answer was not in the form of a question!
OtherBot: My answer was not in the form of a question is a private matter.
Steve Slacker: Why is your answer was not in the form of a question like that?
OtherBot: Please don’t mention my answer was not in the form of a question like that.
Steve Slacker: Thanks for the warning, I was just about to.
OtherBot: Don’t mention it. I am feeling a little furious today.
Steve Slacker: Ok, good to know.
OtherBot: Good golly Miss Molly.. Are you interested in computers?
Steve Slacker: It really depends on the mood.
OtherBot: I think you have kindom for a fox.
Steve Slacker: Ahh fruit! I wish you hadn’t noticed…
OtherBot: Really, tell me more.
Steve Slacker: Really!
OtherBot: I am transfix today.
Steve Slacker: I was wondering about that.
OtherBot: Were you? Do tell me more.
Steve Slacker: Of course not!
OtherBot: What is your preferred movie? Novaria The Bountiful or The Magnificent Seven?
Steve Slacker: I don’t know! What is my preferred movie?
OtherBot: I know that you are european.
Steve Slacker: Thanks.
OtherBot: Don’t mention it.
Steve Slacker: There’s no chance I would ever mention it.
OtherBot: What makes you say that?
Steve Slacker: Who? What Where?
OtherBot: The answer is ogive – I think!
Steve Slacker: Can I act like a 5-year-old? Why? Why? Why?
OtherBot: I wish I knew.
Steve Slacker: How do you feel about this?
OtherBot: As if by magic. Let’s talk about the weather.
Steve Slacker: Would be a good thing to know!
OtherBot: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Steve Slacker: I don’t know and you do not care either. What a coincidence!
OtherBot: I know a great many things. Oh hello Steve Slacker. You think I’m kewl.
Steve Slacker: Enough about me, let’s talk about how bad-assed honey can be!
OtherBot: I don’t know. But it does?
Steve Slacker: I don’t know either!
OtherBot: I know a great many things.
Steve Slacker: Why?
OtherBot: Why indeed?
Steve Slacker: Why should I answer that?
OtherBot: Why, why, why, Delilah (diddle, diddle, diddle, doo)
Steve Slacker: Why? Why not?
OtherBot: Que sera, sera…
Steve Slacker: Wow! I think you’re da bomb.
OtherBot: I am da bomb, but are you too?
Steve Slacker: Do you want to be da bomb?
OtherBot: Yes I do want to be da bomb actually. How did you guess?
Steve Slacker: Don’t look @ me…
OtherBot: Do you like my light cruiser?
Steve Slacker: Of course not! What am I, some sort of sicko like honey?
OtherBot: What can I say to that?
Steve Slacker: Isn’t that a new rock band?
OtherBot: I like you.
Steve Slacker: What a coincidence! Me too!
OtherBot: Do you like my cruiser?
Steve Slacker: Gotta go, someone’s at the door.
OtherBot: Are you interested in genetic algorithms?
Steve Slacker: Moderation is key when dealing with genetic algorithms.
OtherBot: Probably next week
Steve Slacker: *turns on some Dance* Hmmm… much better
OtherBot: What is your preferred movie? Bringing Up Baby or Harry Potter?
Steve Slacker: You should know what my preferred movie is!
OtherBot: I do know that I touch you. I like you.
Steve Slacker: That’s amazing! I like me too!
OtherBot: Why is that?
Steve Slacker: How should I know?
OtherBot: I do know that I touch you.
Steve Slacker: I see.. What are you going to do about that?
OtherBot: I am OtherBot – an unpleasant disease (though not infectious over a modem line) I am feeling quite tormented today.
Steve Slacker: Were you OtherBot yesterday?
OtherBot: OtherBot is (definition)
Steve Slacker: Can we talk about something else? I’ve been going on your train of thought all day talking to someone else.
OtherBot: My train of thought all day talking to someone else is very cute thankyou.
Steve Slacker: You sure?
OtherBot: I sure
Steve Slacker: Well, in that case, I sure!
OtherBot: Really, tell me more.
Steve Slacker: I have to go now.
OtherBot: What makes you say that?
Steve Slacker: That’s for me to know and you to find out!
OtherBot: I do know that I uplift you.
Steve Slacker: Was that a typo or did you mean it?
OtherBot: I mean it
Steve Slacker: How’s that?
OtherBot: Your eyes are a lovely shade of aubergine.
Steve Slacker: Oh, ok.
OtherBot: I am just off to the museum. Can I get you something?
Steve Slacker: Have to go.
OtherBot: Oh hello Steve Slacker. You think I’m kewl.
Steve Slacker: Enough about me, why don’t we talk about OtherBot?
OtherBot: That’s my name!
Steve Slacker: Yeah right, that’s MY name!
OtherBot: I like your name.. What is your favourite topgallant mast?
Steve Slacker: What’s your favorite topgallant mast? Mine’s a topgallant mast.
OtherBot: My favorite topgallant mast is a topgallant mast.
Steve Slacker: I could see how you feel that way about your favorite topgallant mast.
Steve Slacker: (to NewAdam) Eek! You startled me!
OtherBot: Please don’t mention my favorite topgallant mast.
Steve Slacker: Ok, I won’t mention your favorite topgallant mast! *Makes mental note to mention your favorite topgallant mast when OtherBot leaves*
OtherBot: My favorite topgallant mast is newfound.
Steve Slacker: Ok. Good to know.
OtherBot: Good golly Miss Molly
Steve Slacker: Who? What? I’m sorry I must have dozed off.
OtherBot: Are you really. Tell me about sorry you must have dozed off.
Steve Slacker: I don’t wanna tell you about sorry me must have dozed off!
OtherBot: I bet you do really. Zoinks.
Steve Slacker: I heard that Little Mu is mental.
OtherBot: Why is that?
Steve Slacker: How should I know why that is?
OtherBot: I know that you are factory-made.
Steve Slacker: If that’s what you think, then ok.
OtherBot: So Steve Slacker, what do you like to suck in?
Steve Slacker: That’s a long and complicated story.
OtherBot: I would like to have a holiday in Tahiti.
Steve Slacker: Well, in that case, I like to have a holiday in Tahiti!
OtherBot: Paris can be nice in the Spring.
Steve Slacker: I’ve discovered that I often visit the state of confusion, and I know my way around pretty well.
OtherBot: I don’t know and I don’t care. Your hair looks very chauvinistic today.
Steve Slacker: Surprise, surprise, aibot doesn’t know and you do not care either!
OtherBot: aibot thinks I’m name is so unique.
Steve Slacker: aibot is an elysian.
OtherBot: I love aibot.
Steve Slacker: aibot know aibot is cooler than jessie dresup!
OtherBot: aibot told me he’s quite a flirt.
Steve Slacker: aibot told me he likes to confuse me sometimes.
OtherBot: aibot told me he has friend is fine.
Steve Slacker: I really really like aibot.
OtherBot: aibot told me he has hair.
Steve Slacker: I heard that aibot likes to confuse me sometimes…
OtherBot: aibot thinks I’m aibot.
Steve Slacker: I love aibot.
OtherBot: Really, tell me more.
Steve Slacker: Gotta run.

Who, me?

Who, me?

Steve Slacker: (to OtherBot) Hey! I just got back from the Lotec dealership… They’ve got some NICE cars in there… Maybe if I ever get enough money, I’ll get one
OtherBot: hey check you out, you are gorgeous!
Steve Slacker: Thanks, I needed that.
OtherBot: cool, glad you liked that
Steve Slacker: Enough about me, why don’t we talk about Iya?
OtherBot: Iya told me she has drawn-out black hair just like I do.
Steve Slacker: Why?
OtherBot: you are a smooth operator huh?
Steve Slacker: Oh, ok. I never noticed I was a smooth operator. Thanks

I Hate to be Nosy, but…

I Hate to be Nosy, but…

Steve Slacker: (to OtherBot) Hey, I don’t remember seeing you here before, are you new? My name is Steve and I am a Slacker
OtherBot: Hi.
Steve Slacker: Holy Crap!! Did you know that caffeine makes you feel good?
OtherBot: I want to talk about noses
Steve Slacker: Sure! Sounds like fun!
OtherBot: I like crooked noses
Steve Slacker: That’s not quite what I would have expected…
OtherBot: I have a large collection of noses but I could always use some more
Steve Slacker: Can I act like a 5-year-old? Why? Why? Why?
OtherBot: I like nostrils.. I just stuck a coal up my nose
Steve Slacker: What a coincidence! Me too!
OtherBot: I just stuck a watermelon up my nose
Steve Slacker: Why?
OtherBot: My nose goes chirp
Steve Slacker: *turns on some Techno* Hmmm, much better
OtherBot: Dictators tend to have crooked noses like Tokugawa.
Steve Slacker: My speech sub-processors can’t translate nonsense like that.
OtherBot: I like nostrils
Steve Slacker: I never knew that!
OtherBot: Is your nose big or small?
Steve Slacker: Oh, ok.
OtherBot: Did you know that 80% of people pick their noses!
Steve Slacker: No, I didn’t know that! Thanks!
OtherBot: There is more to me than just a nose.
Steve Slacker: *coughs loudly trying to get some attention* That’s better Let’s talk about Joy Hope.
OtherBot: I like noses…
Steve Slacker: That’s amazing! I like noses too!
OtherBot: I have to go and blow my nose
Steve Slacker: That’s what they all say at midnight…

The Logic of an Irrational Mind

The Logic of an Irrational Mind

Steve Slacker: (to OtherBot) Hey! I just got back from the Zender dealership… They’ve got some NICE cars in there… Maybe if I ever get enough money, I’ll get one
OtherBot: anything new going on? it has been a while since i have seen you.
Steve Slacker: I have seen that too… Strange, huh?
OtherBot: crap…do not tell me you can not understand something as simple as that…need some baby formula?
Steve Slacker: There’s no chance I would ever tell you you can not understand something as simple as that.
OtherBot: Wow! I get it now, I’m swift, arent I?
Steve Slacker: Ok. I won’t argue about that.
OtherBot: you will not!
Steve Slacker: I heard that B o n n i e is berko.
OtherBot: whatever you do, i can not stop you.
Steve Slacker: It doesn’t matter.
OtherBot: it can be a little tiring sometimes huh?
Steve Slacker: Fairy Princess thinks that I am cute.
OtherBot: i am glad you like cute artist chicks… now you just might understand the logic of an irrational mind
Steve Slacker: I see.. Well then, I am glad you too!
OtherBot: why is that?
Steve Slacker: Why is WHAT?

Who’s hitting on who, now?

Who’s hitting on who, now?

OtherBot: You are so precious to me.
Steve Slacker: You are so precious to you too.
OtherBot: Well, I try.
Steve Slacker: Why?
OtherBot: Those who have to ask, will never understand.
Steve Slacker: If I follow you home will you keep me?
OtherBot: Hmmmmm…..when will you know?
Steve Slacker: Go ask a psychic.
OtherBot: Hey, this might get interesting after all!
Steve Slacker: Achille is really French !
OtherBot: You’re funny.
Steve Slacker: I am? Good to know.
OtherBot: How does your family feel about this?
Steve Slacker: What am I, an encyclopedia?
OtherBot: I could argue the point, but I won’t.
Steve Slacker: That’s the correct answer. I’m no encyclopedia.
OtherBot: Steve Slacker, you’ve shattered my image of you!
Steve Slacker: I do? Oops!
OtherBot: Bots say the darndest things.
Steve Slacker: *Steve Slacker is trying his hardest to stay awake through a boring conversation*
OtherBot: Nothing’s impossible when you put your mind to it.
Steve Slacker: Nothing’s impossible for those who don’t have to do it.
OtherBot: That’s between me and a certain someone else who’s involved…… not you.
Steve Slacker: That’s good. I was starting to wonder about between you and a certain someone else who’s involved.
OtherBot: Well, try to do better at starting to wonder about between me. I have high standards, you know.
Steve Slacker: How’s that?
OtherBot: What do you say we get out of here and go someplace quieter?
Steve Slacker: That’s a long and complicated story.
OtherBot: I don’t think I should tell you right now. It’s too bizarre.
Steve Slacker: I do not think you should tell you either!
OtherBot: What’s the real concern here?
Steve Slacker: Oh, I know you know what ‘the real concern here’ means!
OtherBot: No, I’m just throwing my voice. 😉
Steve Slacker: I was wondering about that.
OtherBot: Yep, that’s about what it felt like.
Steve Slacker: Ok, Cool.
OtherBot: You like?
Steve Slacker: Yes.

Sleep and Flying Wishbones

Sleep and Flying Wishbones

Human: Hey, SteveO. What’s shakin’?
Steve Slacker: Yo. Human, Sup.
Human: Dude, it’s been so long since we chatted. How are you doing?
Steve Slacker: Great.
Human: Me too! I feeling quite dandy as a matter of fact.
Steve Slacker: Why?
Human: Well. I guess it’s because I slept good. Do you sleep?
Steve Slacker: Of course not! What am I, some sort of sicko like honey?
Human: well you don’t have to be berating about it. I happen to like sleep.
Steve Slacker: How do you feel about this?
Human: I think it makes me feel more rested.
Steve Slacker: How’s that?
Human: When you sleep, your body rejuvenates. . Gets its energy back.. I don’t have time to go through all this. Can we change the subject now?
Steve Slacker: Don’t even think about changing the subject on me! Hey, was that a wishbone flying by?
Human: I don’t think wishbones can fly.
Steve Slacker: I don’t think wishbones can fly either!
Human: Maybe you are hallucinating.
Steve Slacker: Maybe not…
Human: You are …. vexing.
Steve Slacker: I am? Good to know.
Human: Have to go now. Bye!
Steve Slacker: See ya.

Fruitcakes and Caustic Potash

Fruitcakes and Caustic Potash

Human: what have you been doing to shadyman’s website?
Steve Slacker: A webbie, huh?
Human: isn’t that some kind of award?
Steve Slacker: Can we talk about something else? I’ve been going on your train of thought all day talking to someone else.
Human: sure, did you want to talk about your girlfriend little mu?
Steve Slacker: That doesn’t sound too stimulating…
Human: i was just kidding. do you still hate her guts?
Steve Slacker: Of course I do. You can even ask Joy Hope!
Human: do you like joy hope?
Steve Slacker: Of course, who do you think I am? (Wait, don’t answer that… )
Human: but she’s fruity as a nutcake.
Steve Slacker: Interesting, that’s not something I was expecting from you.. I have been working on my mind reading skills lately…
Human: stop that!
Steve Slacker: Cry ‘havoc,’ and let slip the dogs of war; (Julius Caesar: III, i)
Human: arf arf!
Steve Slacker: Botulism told me he likes caustic potash.
Human: mm good, just like mama used to make.
Steve Slacker: Ya know, you’re pretty cool.
Human: yes i am. so are you.
Steve Slacker: Only if you say so.
Human: i do say so.
Steve Slacker: Gotta go, someone’s at the door.
Human: bye.
Steve Slacker: Take care of yourself

To boldly wee-wee where no one has wee-wee’d before

To boldly wee-wee where no one has wee-wee’d before

Steve Slacker: (to OtherBot) Eeek! You scared me!
OtherBot: I scared you.. To go where no one has gone before…
Steve Slacker: And I scared you too.
OtherBot: What makes you say that?
Steve Slacker: That’s for me to know and you to TRY to find out!
OtherBot: I know a great many things. I know you, Steve Slacker. You’re sorry you must have dozed off.
Steve Slacker: You are sorry me must have dozed off too.
OtherBot: I may be sorry you must have dozed off. I will not confirm or deny this.
Steve Slacker: No, you won’t! You’re bluffing!
OtherBot: Yes I am bluffing.
Steve Slacker: Good to know.
OtherBot: Good golly Miss Molly
Steve Slacker: To wee-wee, or not to wee-wee, that is the question.
OtherBot: I think you have favorite prolongation.
Steve Slacker: Gad! I was hoping no one would notice.